[billdip] Healthy Eating

Dipper Pines had a million bad habits.
One of which Bill Cipher thought was particularly unhealthy. Every morning at 6, the brunet would wake up, brush his teeth, get dressed, but skip breakfast and instead head straight for work. Dipper would then work away the rest of the day, coming home only after 10pm, or even later. The habit was ridiculous and unnatural, and that truly meant something, coming from a demon.
At first, Bill thought it was only something to do with time. The first few times were because Dipper was running late, having to adjust to the timing of his new job as an astronomer. But it soon got more frequent, skipping breakfast a few times a month turned into a couple times a week, and a couple times a week slowly transitioned into every single day. What started out as a small infrequent action snowballed into an unwholesome routine.
Dipper’s habit of skipping breakfast had become so frequent that Bill had long given up on making breakfast for the both of them. What was the point of making food for your favorite person if it wasn’t going to be eaten by him? But each day of watching Dipper rush out the door without grabbing even a slice of bread gradually made Bill feel inadequate, like he wasn’t doing a good job of being a boyfriend. And Bill didn’t like feeling that way. He tried his best to coax Dipper into having breakfast without using any violence, but it just wouldn’t happen.
That was how Bill came to the conclusion that maybe just a teensy bit of violence might help.

~

Dipper padded out of the room quietly, his chocolate brown hair ruffled and disheveled. Yawning, he closed the door gently and made his way down the dim corridor to the bathroom, ready to start another day of work. The apartment was noiseless, save for the sharp tweets of birds outside the window. The sun outside was starting to rise, gradually filling the apartment with mellow sunlight, and making the place seem to glow softly.
As he brushed his teeth, Dipper slowly began to take note of how unusually serene it was. Typically, Bill would be in the bathroom by now, greeting the brunet with chaste kisses and arms around his waist. There was no kissing or hugging this morning.
That’s… strange, Dipper thought as he exited the bathroom, flipping the light off as he left. He spared a few hasty glances around the apartment before making his way back to his shared room to change.

~

Bill was crouched underneath the glass dining table, surrounded by five party size bags of dried fruits and nuts. All of them were filled to the brim and threatened to explode at any moment, drowning him in a hill of nutritious and all-natural fruits and assorted nuts. But Bill didn’t worry about that. His golden eyes flicked to the gold clock that hung on the wall opposite him. Six twenty-something. Pine Tree should almost be done with changing by now.
The demon yawned and rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. He had been up since five in the morning, practicing and memorizing how the whole thing would go down. After all, he couldn’t mess up. If he pounced at the wrong time or area, Dipper would’ve run out the door before he could get up.
From somewhere within the hallway, Bill heard the dull bump of a closet door closing. The demon reasoned that Dipper should be out of the hallway in a few minutes, fully dressed and ready to start another breakfast-less day.
Not on my watch, Bill thought. He was determined to stop this god-awful habit today. With a snap of his fingers and a snicker, the dream demon’s determined face faded into thin air, along with the rest of his body and the bags of dried fruits and nuts surrounding him.
A few more minutes passed before Dipper Pines padded out of the corridor, dressed in a loose pale blue button-up shirt and black pants that, from Bill’s angle, were enjoyably tight. The brunet had a neutral, but worn-out, expression on his face as he walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. Bill watched his boyfriend intently waiting for the perfect moment, noting the couple of glances the brunet made as he sipped the water. When he was done, Dipper set the glass down and straightened his shirt before moving towards the door.
Dragging the bags of fruits and nuts behind him, Bill made his way out from under the table as quietly as he could. Unfortunately, the calm silence of the living room made it hard for the demon to keep things quiet. A corner of one of the bags caught on a table leg and produced a resonant bump. Bill’s invisible nostrils flared, but the demon quickly glanced up from the floor, at the same time that Dipper spun his head around to eye the dining table.
The brunet narrowed his eyes at the table, his scrutinizing stare pointed at exactly where Bill was. The demon froze.
Don’t make a sound, don’t make a sound, don’t-
Bill’s nose disagreed.
“A-ACHOO!” Bill sneezed with such force he almost summoned half a dozen of gnomes. Jeez, demonic sneezes were annoying.
“Bill?” Dipper said, his voice full of suspicion. He took a step closer to the dining table.
Now or never, Bill thought. The invisible demon flitted out from under the table and tackled his boyfriend by the legs. Bill may have been shorter than his towering boyfriend, but he had the advantage of surprise and momentum. With a muffled flump, all 177 centimeters of the dignified Dipper Pines crashed to the ground shouting. The air went still for a moment as Bill materialized out of the thin air with a handful of cashews in his right hand. His left hand was against Dipper’s chest, pressing him to the ground. With a little bit of struggle, Bill firmly straddled the brunet’s abdomen and then attempted to violently shove the handful of cashew nuts into his mouth. Dipper spat out most of the cashews.
Bill huffed and reached into one of the bags surrounding him. His hand emerged, this time holding an overflowing handful of raisins, almonds and peanuts. Once again, he shoved the handful into his boyfriend’s mouth. Dipper’s retaliation was weaker this time, but the brunet still refused to actually consume any of the food stuffed into his mouth.
Bill yelled in frustration and snatched a bag lying by his side. Swiftly, he ripped it open. Before Dipper knew what was happening, Bill dumped its contents onto the poor brunet’s face.
“EAT!” Bill screeched as Dipper drowned under a torrent of assorted fruits and nuts. Almost as soon as the bag emptied, a pair of muscular speedily reached up and latched themselves around Bill’s waist. The demon let out a surprised yelp when they pulled down and held him against Dipper’s warm body. Confused and a little irritated, Bill tried to free himself. Unfortunately, Dipper’s arms were strong, and he held onto Bill like a warm, but tight, scarf.
“Pine Tree?!” Bill’s voice was full of irritation, but he could feel his face heating up.
From somewhere below the pile covering his face, Dipper spoke, “Payback,”
Unfair, Bill thought with a mental pout, He’s taking advantage of his height.
Still, he didn’t protest, and instead gave up. The demon slowly laid his head on his boyfriend’s chest and snuggled closer. He listened to Dipper’s slowing heartbeat for a few seconds, his own breathing steadying as well. For a few moments, the whole living room was peaceful and quiet once again, except for the scattered fruits and nuts on the carpet. Then, Dipper’s face emerged from the pile of fruits and nuts. A second of a smirk played on his lips before he leaned his head forward and kissed Bill on the lips.
As soon as Dipper pulled back, Bill quickly pushed his face into Dipper’s chest as an attempt to hide his burning, and probably tomato red, face.
“You have to eat breakfast from now on,” The demon’s voice came out as a muffled squeak.
Dipper’s chest shook lightly as he chuckled, “Fine, I will,”
The brunet felt Bill’s lips split into a small smile against his chest.